Living on the edge

Everyday I fail You. I wake up in the morning and all I can think about is impure thoughts. Why do I commit adultery against You everyday? But You still take me back with out a question. How long Lord will You tolerate me acting this way before You cut me off? My thoughts are weighing heavily on me and it always cause me to sin. I brake oaths with You day by day and for that I am so ashamed. I know I can do better and I know its this worldliness I am battling against. The cosmos creeps into my thoughts and steal my joy. I am not happy with my actions, I am not happy with my outcome. Lord come into my heart so that I can give you more of me. When the cosmos leads me astray Your word guides me even when I don’t listen, and after the sin is conceived I can feel my life edging away. Lord search me and purge every evil thing out of my being. You told me the other day that if I love You I wouldn’t do wicked things in your sight and yet I have become a useless vine to you. Lord Your words are always on my mind but I ask You today can you put them in my heart also? So that I wont forget Your laws and precepts. I have a lot of things going on at the moment Lord and its starting to sink in. I need encouragement. I need less of me and more of you but I also need to give you 100% of myself. I am weary God, I see what You are trying to mold me into something great but my worldly desires kicks in and drowns You out. Its a shame to know that I am still struggling with the same addiction for the past 10+ years. It takes hold of me and drowns me but I see You from a distance asking me am I ready, but I just gaze at You and Your brilliance and reject Your offer bcuz I am comfortable in my ways. I am a sinner that is in desperate need of salvation from You Lord. Ask me again if I am ready and this time I wont just stare at You.

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