You misunderstood my black armor. It is not something I put on to battle loved ones but I put it on to protect myself and the people I love so they won’t have to face what they may battle in the future. (I don’t expect you to understand this). The reason you are in all white is because you are pure and the Lord does not want you to get your hands dirty because your mission is different, so he picked me to battle for my loved ones because I am strong enough for this burden (I am not saying that you are weak). I have no clue what your mission may be but I know it’s not the same as mine. You said we stood face to face about to battle but if you look deeper into your vision you will see that you weren’t battling me but the thing behind me that I was ordered to protect you from. I do not know what I am protecting you from but after the incident you have got closer to God, I can see it, so maybe we were meant to go through this period of our lives and course we don’t understand the issue but if you read the book of Job you will learn that certain things happen and were meant to change you and mold you even through bad times.
The last time you were here I had JDL ask you if you wanted to hash things out and you said you were fine so how can you say I am the stubborn one? I have come to the point that I need to accept the fact of what happened between us. You called me the gateway but have you ever thought that my only mission in your life was to find that guy that you should be with and that second family or better yet get you closer to God? Sometimes people are put in your life to get you to the next step and then their time is up. I am not prideful at all and I definitely don’t judge anyone at all. The last time we talked you just happen to catch me on a bad day. You also say when stuff like this happen you are always the bigger person but I remember when we got into it before I came to you and to hear you call me emotionless, angry and stubborn shows that you have misjudged me. It seems as if you took that one moment and compared it to the new me. Maybe if you came around more and interacted with everyone instead of sitting far away in you own world, you would have a an idea of everyone’s struggles but little did you know you were pushing yourself away from your 1st friends but I didn’t say a thing to you because I know everyone battle with their own demons or life situations.
Before you start stating names and bringing up things people aren’t anymore consider that persons life and what they have been through. You are not the only one who battles within themselves every single day. If you actually took the time and looked in my eyes spirituality and in reality you would know I have changed and still changing as a person and you would see that my actual eyes have turned from a dark brown to just brown and they are getting lighter but how can you tell if you are never around. There is no more sorrow or pain in my eyes, only enlightenment of what my mission is. I don’t know why God has chosen me to be your gateway but all I know is that my main focus is Him above and I am striving to be more like day by day. If only I can share half of what I deal with or go through on a daily basis you might think to yourself…how is he alive or how had he not gone insane?…Yes I have rough days and yes I do come off to people as being to rough or emotionless but I am only human and I make mistakes. I only can only do so much at a time. I do apologize for the way the I came off to you and what I said, you are a true friend of mine and I should treat you like one. I am in the works of trying to deal with certain things and not let myself go off on people, it could be a long journey or a quick one.